At a loss...

What do I do? I want him to understand why I am doing what I am doing.

He doesn't know that I still care. He doesn't know that I wish things didn't have to be this way. He doesn't know that I still pray for him. He doesn't know that I still think about him. He doesn't know how much I want to ask him about his life. He doesn't know that I want him to be at peace with the situation. He doesn't know how confused I am. He doesn't know how badly I feel. He doesn't know how much I want him to be alright. He doesn't know how hurt I am. He doesn't know that my distancing is for his sake. He doesn't know the dreams that I have had. He doesn't know how sorry I feel. He doesn't know how hard it has been for me to keep all of this to myself. He doesn't know how much I want to help him. He doesn't know how crumby this makes me feel.

So much he doesn't know... but it will continue to remain unsaid...