How Am I?

Lately I don't know how to answer that question... it's hard... Perhaps I just went into survival mode and decided not to be anything. Not stressed, not happy, not sad, not anything really... except for content, perhaps...

I don't even know. Weird, isn't it? I think so.

Today was fun. I went to a family friend's house with my mom, and we all made an assortment of different traditional dutch pasteries. It was nice, despite the fact that I got burnt by sputtering oil, but oh well, it was for the pastries... :)

It was strange though, or perhaps not, but there were a few couples there that are married, and I could just tell that they were completely in love with their spouse. It was so beautiful. It also made me just a little sad inside. There seems to be a lot of that going around lately. I'm very happy for all of my friends who have found the love of their life, it's just really hard sometimes to remember to be happy for them.

How can I say that I am content, when I want something with every fiber of my being, but feel like I am not going to find it.

*sigh*

Sorry for being melodramatic...