Mental Block

It sucks to see people in pain, and now I have done my fair share of pain-causing. Good job Mel. I'm determined not to talk about it anymore. Talking about it today and last night only made me realize that I have a major difficulty when it comes to expressing how I feel and what I think. And then when I told my mom about this discovery, she said she already knew. It must be really frustrating for people to be friends with me while I stumble over my thoughts and words, simply trying to get a sentence to make sense. In the end, it usually fails.

There are so many times where I just want to shout out exactly how I feel and what I think, and just go on and on and on until it's all out there. There are so many times I wish I knew what was going on inside my own head.

Communication is one of the most important things to me, especially interpersonal communication. This just makes it more frustrating, because I feel I can't even express what I want to in a clear enough manner. Even now, when I want to explain how I feel and what I think to a person I really care about, I can't do it properly. In the end, it only caused pain. All I really wanted to do was make myself clear, and now I fear that I have done just the opposite.

Shit.