Spasmodic Angst

So, today was not all that nice at points. I am trying to be patient with various different things, and I feel that if I have to be patient with one more thing, I may implode.

On the side, I feel like I am pushing people away from me right now. How, I don't know... Perhaps it simply just over-exposure to me. Perhaps it's the things that I say. I don't know, but no one is really willing to talk about it. They just pretend that it's ok. Frustrating...

It's interesting, because these are the same people that force me to talk about what's going on. I honestly don't care if they tell me that it's me. I'd rather have that, then what I feel is happening now.

Maybe I'm just paranoid. Or maybe the lack of discussing what's wrong is leading to my paranoia. Or maybe I'm just overanalyzing the situation. (Which would probably end up being the case.)

I just need to let things go. I found out just the other day, that I am still angry about things that happened in my last relationship, even though I told him everything. We've been broken up for over 7 months now, and it's still eating me. There are still questions gnawing at the back of my mind. ........Just let it go.......

While I'm at it.... I am sick of things not working out. Things that I feel should not be that big of a deal, that are actually quite simple, are not working out.

*gr*

This is such a sporadic blog, which only shows how tired and frustrated I am. I'm afraid further behavior like this will only sooner lead to an implosion. But despite all of this...

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth." 1 Corinthians 13:4-6

There is the answer to my problem.