A lesson in humility to myself...

What should I do if I have nothing to say, but would like to say something anyway? Or if I do have something to say, but don't feel anybody cares about it as much as I do? or finds me silly for saying such things? or criticizes how I write or what I think? maybe outright or perhaps just in their heart and mind...

For the last few months I have found it difficult to be willing to say anything on my blog because of these thoughts. I don't like being criticized and I don't like thinking people may find those things silly. For some reason, I feel that some people won't be able to overcome their point-of-view or background in order to listen to what I truly have to say (not that it is always important). I suppose that being surrounded by elitists (or who I perceive to be elitist) at times has made a bit gunshy and uncertain about anything I think or feel.

One of the worst feelings in the world, in my opinion, is feeling as though you are being looked down upon or that you aren't good enough to be in the presence of some people. Its almost as though, if you do not reach a certain level of perfection in those areas you aren't even worth the time-of-day so to speak. How horrible that people treat one another in such an uncaring way. Like their thoughts and views on major (or minor) issues are invalid because they don't line up with yours. Like their grammatical errors make them less worth listening to. Like their not even a human being.

The saddest thing about this, is that I see myself doing the same to other people. Act as though I am better than they are and they have nothing to offer the world, much less me. I let the smallest things form my view of a person, and based on those stupid notions, I cast my judgment on them rendering them worthy or not. How abominable.

Lately I have taken to reminding myself of the verse out of Phillipians:
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves."

I wish I could apologize to all the people whom I have judged like this, but perhaps it would be better to simply apply this passage in hopes of reconciling those thoughts and seeing the person for who they truly are and who God made them to be, regardless of what I think about it.

Well this has turned out completely differently than I first intended, but that's alright. Hopefully I will be blogging a bit more in the future, but we shall see about that. Until that next time... wear your snow shoes and feed your dog team...