Why can't I find the rest I need?

This is going to be another sleepless night. My body is tired, but my thoughts keep on running wild. Why the hell is this bothering me so much? It's just one of those situations where you can't bear to not do something because of what may happen, but a the same time can't figure out what to do. I am so impatient for the answer that I am seeking from the Lord.

Why does this keep on going? How would something like this play into God's perfect plan?

There are so many different ways it is playing out in my head, yet I feel like the outcome would be the same everytime. Why do I get the feeling that it would be like talking to a wall? A wall that feels like no one friggin' understands what's going on and continues to dwell on it no matter what people say? People have been talking to this wall for quite some time now, but nothing helps.

I suppose the reason why I am losing sleep is because I am trying to figure out a sure-fire way to reach into someone's soul and shake it awake. To spark some conviction to change these habits. To show how silly all of this is.

But I can't do a thing, because it has to come from within... There it is. The realization that I can't do one thing to make a difference, only God can do that. Only God knows all the workings of the human heart. Only God can tear down that wall that so many people have attempted to break.

This is one of those moments when you realize how feeble we are as human beings. How little we can do without the grace of God. I know from my own life that I have no strength to stand up on my own. This, of course, is also one of those times where you recognize that only individuals can understand that when they see it in their own lives. You may believe me when I say it, but until, in your own time, you truly see it for yourself, you won't really believe me. I'll just be one of those people that "preaches" at you.

Well, whatever this is, it is by no means a sermon. Just someone letting out the thoughts that are preventing them from resting peacefully.