The Ride

So life is good right now, despite the fact that my performance on the test may not have been the greatest... oh well, it's out of my hands now...

Here's an epiphany: I don't always have to do something when something is going wrong with people in my life. Let me be more specific, if there are relational issues of sorts, I can choose to do nothing about it. Don't get me wrong, if there are serious relational issues, then I would definitely do something about them. But otherwise, it's just best to wait and see how things are going to go...

I am so happy right now, and I don't even know why! Nothing out of the ordinary happened today... nothing special... in fact, I have no real good reason to be happy...

Perhaps it is the fact that I am at peace with what is happening in my life. Perhaps it is the fact that that infernal OChem test is finished. Perhaps there is something else and I just can't put my finger on it. That's ok though, because I am going to revel in the fact that I am nothing but happy right now. No worry, no anxiety, no nagging feeling, nothing.

Random Thought/Story:
I was in chapel yesterday, and Pastor Rod played the Hallelujah Chorus after his main shpeel. The shpeel was about celebration, and how heavenly celebration will be so awesome. So I listened to this song with this in mind, and I felt as though I was elevated to a completely different plane. Thinking about heaven in such a way almost brought me to tears, and then the thought of how my father is part of that heavenly celebration made the tears spill. I don't think about him as much as I use to, and that scares me. The thought of my father disappearing from my memory scares me. The thought of losing those precious memories scares me. This is why I talk about him with people, even if they don't know that he's gone. It keeps him alive in my memories. I miss him so much.... even now.... in fact, in chapel, I decided that if I could ask for anything and it would happen, it would be to have one last hug from him. That is all I really want. That is all I ever want.

There you have it... my deepest desire... the thing that I long for most and will not get while I remain on this earth.