I keep on coming back to this point:

What is it that makes me hesitate from showing that I care for other people? All people? There's something that holds me back. It's ok if it's someone that I'm comfortable with, someone that I can easily talk to and not feel awkward around. Seems to me that it's a fear that some people will expect things out of me that I won't be willing to give more than once, more than that one time that I should step outside of my comfort zone and show a person that I care, and that they are wanted and loved.

It's hard to love freely. Again I am staring into the faces of God's beloved children who are hurting or alone and refusing to give them love that all people should feel. Something is holding me back. Part of it may simply be fear of hurting them worse when I can't give them that love whenever they need it. Another part of me hopes someone else will take up the burden that I feel in doing this so that I won't have to go through with it.

How awful, right?!

It's heartbreaking to see hurt from rejection in the eyes of these people. It's even harder to put myself in the position that would be willing to reach out to them. People need people, no matter who the person is. It's one thing if they decide seclusion for themselves, it's another if it is thrust upon them by the very people who claim to be in a community, a Christian community at that.

Christ himself brought those rejected people into a community. It may be very obvious, but the very root of the word "Christian" is Christ, which means we should be doing what Christ did, right?!

Then why is it so hard? and frustrating? and angering?

*sigh*

Of course... human-nature...

But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. And that doesn't mean I should give up on doing such things, even if it is difficult and against everything I want to do.

Boy, I wish things like this were so much more simple...